#to some degree that's already his role when we meet him in s2 but in a way that's far more... synthesized

[shinelikethunder]

did i ever post about the bizarre canon divergence AU living rent-free in my head where fbi agent victor henriksen's interstate fraud + misc other crimes suspect suddenly turns up dead after 1x22 devil's trap, and henriksen somehow catches the murder case and has to follow dean winchester's trail through small-town america trying to piece together wtf was going on here through the people whose lives he touched in passing, all while trying to make sense of the mounting paranormal spookiness in the vicinity of the investigation and also having unsettlingly vivid dreams about meeting dean and/or his equally dead doppelgänger in the black lodge

[rafesbabygirlx]

I Love Him Though

Masterlist

Toxic Rafe x Kook Reader

Contents: NONCON/DUBCON, smut, breeding kink, oral (m+f receiving) name callings turns into pet name calling, daddy kink, degradation, physical abuse mentions. Unsuccessful offering (prostitution) Rafe is back and forth with emotions. Ward is dead but I still picture curtain bangs S2 Rafe when he’s ’toxic.’ That should be everything.

Not read over

Word count: 2.6k

A/N: someone let me know if I’m using warnings right. Please also I’m working in better dialogue and hope it’s improving. :)

You were the quintessential heiress princess, born into OBX’s most prominent family. The youngest of four brothers and your parents’ only daughter, you just graduated from USC in California with a business degree and returned to the island, stepping into the role of Chief Operations Officer, second only to your father. Your beauty was legendary on Figure Eight—admired by girls and desired by boys.

Alongside you was your boyfriend, Rafe Cameron—handsome, irresistible, and undeniably complicated. He went to UCLA for business. Not his first choice but he’d be damned to let you be across the country on your own. You started dating sophomore year, and despite the ups and downs, you stayed together, much to your parents’ dismay. They had warned you about the Cameron family, especially Rafe’s drug and anger issues. But the relationship felt like the one thing that was truly yours, and you didn’t care.

Not when he slapped you in front of your friends. Not when he tried to offer you to Barry as payback for a debt. (Thankfully, Barry had some decency.) Not even when he ruined a family dinner, barging in during a coke-fueled rage. You excused yourself to take care of him, understanding that it always came back to his issues with his father. This all happened during his downward spiral and issues with the Pogues. All this you heard from Sarah and not the supposed love of your life and yet you still stayed. None of these behaviors changing in LA at school.

You thought Rafe would change after his dad passed—become softer, more loving, and respectful. Instead, it pushed him deeper into anger and bitterness. While you thrived at work, earning the admiration of your family and employees, Rafe’s messages grew increasingly hostile throughout the day. You couldn’t understand how he had the time for this, given that he had taken over his father’s company. But not shocked how he just rode through it without care.

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Rafe 8:50 AM: “Hey, are we getting dinner tonight?”

Rafe 12:00 PM: “Are you fucking kidding me? Three hours?!”

12:30 PM: 7 missed calls from Rafe.

Rafe 2:00 PM: “Why do I even bother with a stupid bitch like you? I could fuck anyone I want.”

You 2:05 PM: “We’re still on for dinner. Jesus Christ, Rafe, I’ve been in meetings since 7:30 AM. Do you not have anything better to do?”

Rafe 4:00 PM: “You’re questioning me about what I do? I work hard to keep my dad’s legacy alive while you probably have your daddy’s help. You’re pathetic, and I should slap some sense into you.”

Rafe 5:00 PM: “What time are you gonna be home?”

You 5:05 PM: “Six.”

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Moments like these, unfortunately frequent, made you regret ever giving Rafe a key to your apartment. Even after all this time, you refused to move in with him at Tannyhill. You loved him, but the thought of living together was unbearable until he got his issues under control.

As expected, when you arrived home, Rafe was already in your kitchen. You didn’t even have a chance to put your bags down before he started. “What the fuck is your problem?!” His face was red, fists clenched.

“Rafe, I’m not doing this. I work—I actually work—and you harassing me all day with your bullshit is no—”

Before you could finish, he slapped you, grabbing you by the hair and dragging you to the bedroom, throwing you onto the bed. Your mind spun as your face burned from the sting.

Rafe's hands were rough as they tore at your clothes, leaving you exposed and vulnerable. You tried to struggle against him, but he was too strong, pinning you down with ease. His grip on your throat tightened, and you felt the sting of his words as he spat, "You wouldn't have to be treated like such a whore if you weren't such a bitch with a mouth on you."

“Fuck you Rafe, get off of me!” Your protests fell on deaf ears as Rafe's grip only tightened, his voice low and menacing. "Go ahead, finish telling me what you think," he growled, his teeth bared in a snarl. He dragged you up the bed, your head hitting the headboard with a thud, before climbing over you and trapping your arms beneath his knees. “Just be a good girl for me. Alright?”

His hand stroked his hardened length, the tip brushing against your lips as he smeared precum across your mouth. You tried to resist, but Rafe's anger only escalated. "Fine, I guess we can do this the hard way," he sneered, his grip on your throat becoming a vice.

You struggled for breath as Rafe's hand closed around your throat, his grip tightening until you could barely gasp for air. Just as you thought you would suffocate, Rafe thrust himself inside you, his hands gripping your hair as he pumped furiously. He didn't care about your comfort or your well-being; all that mattered was his pleasure and your punishment.

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You were suffocating, your airway constricted by Rafe's girth and your own helplessness. His cock felt like a vice around your throat, choking the life out of you as he thrust deeper, his grunts echoing in your ears. "Open up and look at me, let me know who your daddy is," he growled, his voice low and menacing.

You struggled to open your eyes, but the discomfort was too much, and tears streamed down your cheeks, blurring your vision. Rafe yanked your hair, the pain searing through you, and slapped you hard across the cheek. "LOOK!" he bellowed, his voice echoing through the room.

You complied, your eyes watering as you gazed up at him, your vision a blurry mess. Rafe's eyes lit up with perverse pleasure. "Yeah, there are those pretty eyes, my pretty fucking slut looks so good choking on me," he crooned, his voice dripping with sick satisfaction.

His thrusts became sloppy and erratic, his cock slipping in and out of your throat with a wet, slapping sound. Drool pooled at your chin, his balls slapping it making the drool drip down to your chest as you struggled to breathe. Your body felt numb, your mind foggy with pain and fear.

Rafe didn't seem to care, lost in his own pleasure and power trip. He gripped your hair tighter, his hips bucking wildly as he continued to thrust, his cock jamming deeper into your throat. The pain was unbearable, but you knew that stopping would only make it worse.

And so you lay there, trapped beneath him, your throat ravaged by his cock, your body broken and bruised, as Rafe continued to throat fuck you like an animal, his pleasure the only thing that mattered. Finally with one final thrust he came down your throat. The warm liquid somewhat soothing the sting of pain that’s there.

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He moves back to in between your thighs and his hands gripping your hips. Your arms now rushing with blood again are limp next to your body, no feeling to them and Rafe sat on them for what felt like an eternity. Your breath comes in ragged gasps as you try to push him away, but he holds you firmly in place. "Please, Rafe, stop," you beg, tears streaming down your face. He ignores your pleas, his eyes filled with a mix of anger and lust.

He kneels there, not moving. You sit up to look at him better through tears as you cry. His hands still grip your hips tightly, holding you in place. You try to wriggle free, but he doesn't budge. His face is inches from yours, his breath hot on your skin as he glares at you. You just want him away from you.

"You're mine," he says, his voice low and threatening. "You'll learn to stay in line." He doesn't move, just sits there, his body a heavy burden on yours. You're trapped, unable to escape his grip or his gaze. He hands you his undershirt to wipe your face of the drool and tears. You just cry into it.

The silence is oppressive, the air thick with tension. You sob quietly, trying to break free, but he holds you firm. Time seems to stand still as you lie there, helpless in front him. His eyes never leave you.

He finally breaks the heavy silence, his voice low and hesitant. “I’m sorry, baby girl. I love you so much, and I don’t want to be without you, but sometimes you need to learn your lesson.”

Tears stream down your face as you clutch his shirt, your voice trembling as you respond, “Rafe, I can’t do this anymore. You’re possessive, overbearing… and it scares me. Why can’t you understand that?” Your voice cracks, the words carrying years of frustration and fear.

He brushes off your plea, offering a half-hearted, “I know, I know. Let me make it up to you, show you I care.” His eyes are distant, his apology empty. He doesn’t understand. He never really listens, and deep down, you know he’s counting on you not doing anything about it.

Without acknowledging the depth of your pain, he lifts your chin and kisses you—deep, consuming, as if that alone could erase everything. His hands move with practiced ease, guiding you back onto the bed. His lips trail down your neck, planting soft kisses, sucking in your nipples, down your stomach and to your thighs, but the tenderness feels misplaced, hollow.

His thumb starts tracing gentle circles on your clit, while the rest of you is screaming, begging for him to stop. But the weight of his presence, the years of manipulation, pin you down as surely as his body does. He peels your panties off, his breath hot against your skin as he licks up your cunt, but it all feels wrong. It feels wrong but you can’t help but moan.

He begins to devour you, his tongue working magic on your sensitive clit. You're telling yourself no, but all you can get out are moans when you buck your hips up into him. He keeps working, sucking and licking at your pussy as he slides two fingers into you. "Oh my god, Rafe, right there," you force out between pants, your body trembling with pleasure. He looks up at you, a wicked smile on his face as he takes in your contorted expression. He loves this power he holds over you, and you can't help but be consumed by it.

Finally, he releases his fingers and mouth from you, climbing over you like a predator stalking its prey. He stares down at you, his eyes burning with desire, and you look up at him, your heart pounding in your chest. For a second, he doesn't look like the evil man that terrifies you. "I want you to be happy, to be loved," he whispers, his voice low and husky. "Can we please be happy together, no more of these crazy ways?" You ask. He smiles, rubbing his thumb over your cheek, and without saying another word, he lines himself up and thrusts into you, hard and fast. His eyes lock onto yours, and you feel like you're being consumed by him, body and soul.

His pace is relentless, your body shuddering beneath him as he pounds into you. Your eyes roll back in your head, but he grabs your chin, pulling your gaze back to his. "Look at me, baby, look at who does this for you," he growls, his voice low and demanding.

You obey, staring into his eyes as he continues to fuck you. "No one can make you feel this good," he says, his fingers digging into your hips. "This pussy was made for me, I should fill you up and get you pregnant. What would your parents say if I knocked you up, huh? I know they hate me, hate who I am. But you love me, I know you do. Ugh, you wouldn't be clenching me like this if you didn't."

You don't reply, your eyes locked onto his as he continues to thrust into you. You know he's right; you'd love to have a family with Rafe, to feel him inside you, to know that he's the one who made you pregnant. "Tell me who you belong to," he demands, his fingers pinching your clit.

"You... I belong to you daddy," you whimper, your body trembling with pleasure. "I'm all yours."

"That's right, baby," he says, rubbing circles into your clit with his thumb. "When you listen, you get a reward." You lift your right leg over his shoulder knowing you’d get him at the perfect angle to hit your G-spot.

"I'm so close, Rafe," you cry out, your body arching off the bed. "Keep going."

He grins, his eyes burning with desire. "Me too, sweet girl," he says, thrusting harder. "Tell me where you want me. You want what I said? To fill you up, get you pregnant?"

"Yes, daddy," you moan out a lie, your body convulsing around him. "Fuck, fill me up."

He groans, you cum hard and he follows suit. His eyes rolling back as he cums deep inside you. He stays like that for a moment, before pulling out and watching his cum drip from you. Then he’s sticking a finger inside shoving the cum back in. "Gotta make sure it sticks, mama," he says, using the endearment that makes you shudder. He confuses it as a good one.

He leans down and kisses you, his tongue thrusting into your mouth as he holds you close. You can feel his heart pounding against your chest, his body still trembling with passion. You know that this is just the beginning, that Rafe will keep pushing you, keep taking you to new heights.

“Y’know I love you right?” All you can do is nod.

╰☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆╮

You’re trapped between what you want to feel and what you know—caught in a cycle you’re terrified to break.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Rafe pulls away and silently rises from the bed. You lie there, motionless, feeling broken, battered, and emotionally drained as his absence fills the room. Curled up on your side, you stare at the wall, your mind numb, listening to the sound of him turning on the shower. The water runs, but it does nothing to drown out the hollow ache settling in your chest.

This has become your reality—a constant 360 with Rafe, a never-ending cycle of hurt, apologies, and hollow promises. Round and round, you go, lost in this whirlwind of love, control, and regret. You loved him once, loved him deeply, and you still find yourself missing the boy he used to be. The one who made you laugh, who held you like you were the only thing that mattered. But that boy feels like a distant memory now, replaced by someone who uses love as a weapon.

You convince yourself that he must love you—he has to. Why else would he want you to feel this way? He wouldn’t go to such lengths to make you feel good if he didn’t care, right? It’s a lie you tell yourself over and over, a story that comforts you even when the truth is painfully clear. You know it’s a manipulation tactic, one he’s used time and time again, but it works every time.

And you let it work because the idea of leaving, of being without him, despite your parents pleas, is scarier than staying trapped in this vicious circle.

[hausofmamadas]

MIGUEL Y MIN | Pt 5 - The confrontation

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Both Benjamín and Güero open by citing the financial/logistic struggles that their respective plazas are facing.

Specifically, Mín objects to Miguel’s preferential treatment of Sinaloa, pointing out that Sinaloa exclusively relies upon Tijuana’s resources in order to actually get shit over the border.

As we are about to find out, Miguel is under a L O T of pressure from all of the plazas for cash flow. And in fact, we find out just after this during his conversation with Pacho that he’s been floating all of them with his own personal funds in lieu of the money Cali owes them.

But he plays it cool, let’s Mín say his piece, and then tells him that money is coming.

And THEN, things take a sharper, less congenial turn the minute Mín says, “All we want is what’s ours.”

Miguel’s body language and verbal response, “what’s yours is also mine, Benjamín. Never forget that,” speaks to Miguel’s general philosophy and vision in establishing the Guadalajara cartel as a broader conglomerate that encompasses all of the other plazas.

So naturally, he takes issue when Mín considers his own plaza’s fate and success as being something separate from the fate and success of the organization.

And this makes sense when we consider the events just prior to Salva, the S2 premiere.

The last few episodes of S1 show Miguel’s gradual assertion of dominance over the plazas, killing any atmosphere of collaboration that may have existed or that he may have actively/disingenuously engendered when he brought them together.

This is a crucial turning point because it marks a Miguel’s evolution into someone who no longer sees himself as part of a broader entity, nor even its leader. He himself, is La Federación.

It’s now embedded in his identity. Thus, the fervency of his desire to institutionalize the org grows proportionally to the growth of his deeper desire to legitimate himself.

The schmoozing, all the governors and public figures, his impending meeting with Pacho - all of these things culminate in this grand party and stem directly from this unsated desire for institutional validation and legitimacy.

At the time this interaction takes place, Miguel can almost step into the role he’s always wanted to embody, that of a “true” businessman, rather than a criminal.

Fulfilling that desire is more tangible than ever and it serves to inflate his already massive sense of omnipotence and entitlement.

This explains why he is so reactive to Mín’s last statement about the Arellanos wanting what’s theirs.

To Miguel, this is absurd because like, “aRe yOU EvEN sErIOuS. Gorl. I don’t owe anyone shit.”

They’re all part of him anyway. When one wins, they all win. The success of Tijuana, Sinaloa, and Miguel are not separate and he can’t abide Mín leaving with any other impression than that of complete and total dependence.

᪥

᪥

Turning to the S3 conversation with Güero and Co, it’s becomes immediately apparent that familiar old tensions are mingling with a new facet of entitlement that the TJ crew and Benjamin have acquired and they’re mingling in a very n o t harmonious way.

It’s all the more caustic without that grounding and *ahem* perhaps, maybe also a little bit threatening theme of universal dependence that characterized Miguel and Mín’s conversation.

This is what makes the subsequent events between Tijuana and Sinaloa so much more explosive than the squabbling and bickering that happens after Miguel’s party throughout S2 (e.g. think Cochi’s prank putting the pig in the Arellanos’ truck, the riff-raff at Roxanne’s when Francisco gets out of jail where Enedina smashes a champagne bottle over some guy’s head, that one time Cochi rolled over some dudes with a steam roller truck whilst cackling maniacally, that other time Ramon executed like 9 innocent dudes for helping Chapo build his tunnel whilst wearing an infuriatingly cool, studded leather jacket - okay, so I might be underselling the degree of conflict a bit, here. Perhaps they were a tad more caliente than squabbles … but hey, it’s not full-blown, killing-a-cardinal-as-you-shoot-up-the-airport-in-broad-daylight kind of warfare, so I rest my case, your honor.)

To make matters worse, it’s my interpretation that Mín is likely informed and motivated by the unaddressed resentment that he expressed to Miguel all those years earlier.

In other words, Mín not only feels like he doesn’t owe anyone shit, but Güero & Co’s inferior status is almost like reparations for Miguel’s favoritism.

When he offers to lease the Imperial Valley border instead of selling it (with the LOL promise to “renegotiate” after the two-year term), he’s actually saying, “Gorl, we owe you n o t h i n g. Any crumbs you get are bestowed by the charitable nature of me and my family. In fact, be grateful for the privilege to even have this conversation.”

For Mín, there is no irony in his being similarly positioned as Miguel, nor is there any contradiction in echoing the sentiment of Miguel’s earlier response.

What we viewers might see as an opportunity to give Güero the grace he didn’t get from Miguel, Benjamín sees as an opportunity to restore his world to equilibrium, a way to to right a past wrong. It’s the only logical conclusion to a perennial conflict.

Adding to the dynamic of Miguel and Mín’s little dance, Güero and Co contribute to an almost demented narrative symmetry - I guess like a sort of fucked/dysfunctional/rotating triad..?

Albeit, their role is less pronounced because they never occupy the top spot (until later when Chapo takes over but we don’t see that in the show).

But they are part of the dance because in S2, Güero and Co are sort of the favored sons of Sinaloa, afforded greater privileges by the man calling the shots, Miguel at the top of the triangle.

It’s never made explicit if/why Miguel actually does show the Sinaloa folks more love at the beginning of S2 or if it was a mistaken perception of Mín’s, maybe something he was blowing out of proportion.

I always got the sense that the favoritism wasn’t a figment of Mín’s imagination or something he was blowing out of proportion. There was an element to it that was real.

So, in light of that, I also suspect that even though he left Sinaloa and moved his whole base of operations to Guadalajara, Miguel still felt an affinity for his hometown and the dudes he grew up with.

Because while the Arellanos are family, his nieces and nephews, he didn’t actually grow up with them, he watched them grow up.

So, there’s automatically a more paternalistic dynamic, or maybe even a subconscious tendency to infantalize them, i.e. keep them at the proverbial kid’s table.

Whereas, with Güero, Cochi, and Chapo, they all more-or-less grew up together, so they’re on more equal footing.

If Miguel views himself and his organization as a single entity, then those who are closer to his equals stand to get a greater share of the loot because they comprise a larger part of him.

This favoritism is also likely why it was such a massive betrayal to the Sinaloa crew when Miguel begrudgingly gave the Arellanos the go-ahead to kill Cochi.

And thus, I suspect this is also why Miguel disproportionately reacted to Güero talking about killing him - not even doing it, just talking about it - by murdering poor sweet Hector’s whole ass fuckin’ family.

So, given the previous S3 episode with Dina’s wedding, we see that the Arellanos (Mín in particular) are similarly close to a place of true social and financial credibility for the first time, which underscores this gangster dream of “going straight,” this need for validation/legitimacy that Mín shares with Miguel.

It’s almost as though they both think they can shed their tainted bandido pasts and move forward to an elite future full of everything. It’s like Everything is a place to be, the destination for them.

For Miguel and Mín, there will never be enough money to fulfill them or to quell these particular cavernous wells of insecurity seated deep in both of their hearts.

This is what sets them on parallel journeys, despite the fact that they are almost polar opposites as individuals.

Their personalities and values are vastly different, which is perhaps best exemplified by the fact that no matter what happened in the course of the show, Mín always protected his family. Like, mans would sooner set himself on fire before betraying them, whether it’s to the cops or to a rival cartel. Like could you imagine a universe in which Mín does to Ruth what Miguel did to Maria? One of the few things we in the Narcos/Narcosmx fandom have overwhelmingly agreed upon is that there is no realistic fanfic plot that features Mín cheating on Ruth, the circumstances would have to be dire asf, or at least before he’s married, right? And then you got Miguel over there - mans had a whole ass baby with a woman who was very much not!Maria

I’ve seen quite a few gifsets showing the parallel journeys of Amado and Miguel, both of whom occupy the top of the aforementioned fucked/dysfunctional/rotating triad at some point but Amado’s success was motivated by something different. Amado was always too self-possessed to really give a fuck about being “legit.”

But I think that’s where the similarities stop for the most part and here’s why.

Amado was WAY more secure in his identity as an outlaw (an outlook that I believe originated with him but that I think was also fostered during his time with Pablo Acosta).

But Miguel and Mín, our two little Icaruses, literally cannot stop themselves from flying so close to the sun. Their drive for validation fuels them to success and also delivers them to failure.

᪥

taglist: *no one: … me: chucking gifs in ur direction* @criatividad-e @tinylittleobsessions @artemiseamoon @narcos-narcosmx @narcolini @purplesong1028 @ashlingnarcos @curaheed @thesolotomyhan @narcosmx

[lesbianrobin]

How do you think the writers can continue Steve's character development in S4? I think the two routes they can go with are: 1) improving upon his self esteem issues and liking himself more and/or 2) becoming more independent from the privileges hes enjoyed in his father's hands and getting some sense of direction in his life in terms of career interests or something. Idk how they're gonna do this though..

So I absolutely agree with what you’ve stated already! Steve believes himself to be an asshole, and he’s literally said that he feels he “has no future.” Because he’s generally a comic relief character, I’m not sure if they’ll really take any steps to remedy his self-esteem issues, but I’m optimistic if only because of Robin.

Just having a close friend his own age will be really beneficial for Steve. He loves Dustin, of course, but Dustin’s his little bro! He can’t be burdened with the kind of things that Steve could talk to Robin about. Robin can also help Steve with more concrete things, like getting him the job at Family Video. I don’t think just having a best friend will magically fix his self-esteem, but I could see Robin giving him a bit of a reality check and saying “Hey dude, you’re my best friend and I think you’re pretty fucking great!”

Somebody just needs to tell Steve that he’s a good guy. Nobody ever really has! He’s constantly told what an asshole he used to be, constantly told that he’s an idiot, and he clearly internalizes and believes these things (Steve baby you weren’t a shitty boyfriend, Nancy just had trauma and the two of you were never going to work out! You never actually did anything to Robin, she just thought you were an asshole because she was jealous her crush liked you!). In S4, since Steve is now the oldest person in Hawkins who’s “in the know,” we might speculate that he’ll be taking a clear protective role as the responsible adult in Hopper and Joyce’s absence. I’m hoping that this will provide the opportunity for someone to finally tell Steve he’s doing a good job and that he’s a good person. The closest we’ve ever gotten to that is in S2 when Nancy tells Steve that what he did for the kids (guarding them from demodogs in the junkyard) was cool, but it’s incredibly awkward and I don’t think he really took it as a compliment considering the circumstances (her having shown up with Jonathan, making any kind words from her seem like empty platitudes to soften the blow). I know that you don’t necessarily need external validation to develop self-esteem, but Steve... I think Steve does, if only just to combat the constant “Steve Harrington is an asshole” talk he hears.

In terms of career and life direction, I’ve always been an advocate for Steve finding something more expressive or people-oriented that he enjoys (cough cough making music or cutting hair) and pursuing that, even if it’s a side thing while he makes his living working retail or whatever. I’m also into all of the teacher/counselor/other jobs working with kids headcanons that I’ve seen around! Steve could be going to community college in S4, and regardless of what he studied, I’d be really happy to see him continuing to make an effort and not just giving up because he thinks he’s hopeless. If he’s not in school at all, I’m interested to see what the Duffers do with him, whether they let him hang around in “feeling like a loser with no life direction” limbo, if he shows interest in a career path which doesn’t require a degree, or if they work to give him some type of goal and arc independent of his career prospects.

I’d love to see him potentially move out of his parents’ house, but I’d also like to MEET HIS FUCKING PARENTS AT SOME POINT, and if he’s on his own in S4 then that dream’s finally dead and I’m not quite ready to let go of it. My ideal S4 includes a scene or two with Steve’s parents, perhaps one where he cuts ties or makes it clear that he’s his own man now, but what’s most important is that Steve is no longer in a position where he feels like his father is in control of his life. All the development of his family dynamic has occurred offscreen, and I don’t want a sudden shift to “Harrington Family Drama Hour” or anything, but I think if they ever intend to give Steve an arc in which he breaks off from his parents and establishes his independence, they’re going to have to at least introduce his damn parents.

To bring this all together: I could see there being a single quick scene with Steve’s parents in the beginning of the season just to establish their existence, and in that scene they could mention something about the arc they’ve chosen for Steve- maybe that he’s in community college, that he’s just working at Family Video with no plans, that he’s planning to apply to 4-year schools again, whatever. Maybe Steve could say one thing with his parents and then discuss another with Dustin or Robin, that he’d actually really like to go to trade school or do something artistic or enter some career that his parents don’t approve of because it’s not lucrative. Let him have this tension between his parents’ expectations and his own desires simmering in the background of the season as he struggles to be The Adult of the group, and let his journey throughout the season influence his thoughts, so that when they give us the obligatory end-of-the-season flashforward, we get to see which path he’s chosen. 

That’s basically all I got!! Thanks for this ask <3

[honourablejester]

Nathan: Dignity! You know, it takes a bold man to talk about dignity when he tryin’ to sell women off like they cattle.

Ezra: I’ll ignore that.

Nathan: Yeah, you better do that. How else you gonna get some sleep tonight?

Ezra *flatly*: Anything else?

Nathan: About making profit off the back of another human being? Hell yeah, I got a lot to say, but—It just be wasted on you.

--- Magnificent Seven, Ep 1x03, “Working Girls”

Watching a couple of episodes of Magnificent Seven (1998) again, and I’m remembering why the relationship between these two is probably the single most painful and heart-warming and fascinating on the show. Nathan Jackson and Ezra Standish are one of the most perfect examples of a pair of characters who have either no frame of reference for each other or else a completely wrong one. Or, well, an action-correct but motivation-wrong one. Hence why they keep tearing strips off each other for the whole show, though they soften some later. And this conversation here, very early on, is an excellent illustration as to why.

So the plot of this episode is that the Seven have helped liberate a group of prostitutes from an abusive camp and have to keep them safe over the course of the episode. This involves a lot of people (notably Mary Travis) facing a lot of fairly uncomfortable truths about the darker side of their society and how easy it is to slip up and wind up in a hell. And Ezra is definitely one of those too.

Ezra’s little subplot for the episode is that he decides he’s going to help some of these women win better lives by setting them up in a mail-order bride scheme, run by him, for naturally a small fee. When they react with natural scepticism, wondering how exactly that’s different from being a whore aside from not getting paid for it, he clarifies that he’ll set them up only with wealthy, gentlemanly men, screened by him. Leaving aside their suspicions on this, one of them asks what men like that would want with women like them, and Ezra responds that what the men don’t know won’t hurt them, and he can show them how to act like ‘ladies’. He then spends the rest of the episode trying (with Buck’s help and Josiah’s disdain) to do exactly this via an impromptu ‘charm school’. The above conversation happens when Nathan walks in on the middle of this.

Now. Leaving Nathan’s own background completely aside for a minute, you cannot for one second blame him for coming to this conclusion. Ezra straight-up called it a mail-order bride scam. He is … I mean, he kind of is selling them, he’s just doing so with their cooperation and, in his head, for the purposes of victimising the men, not the women. But he is selling them. He’s getting a cut from arranging marriages for them. That’s only a bit of semantics away from selling them. Add in Nathan’s background as a straight-up slave, and it is plainly obvious and completely understandable why this rubs him savagely the wrong way.

But the thing is, from Ezra’s point of view … the accusation baffles and deeply offends him. Like, really hurts and offends him. You can see it in his face and his stiff, flat tone. If Nathan had slapped him full across the face he could have gotten exactly the same effect. And some of that … Some of that is a lack of self-awareness on Ezra’s part. Some of it is that he’s never looked at things like this from someone like Nathan’s point of view, and there are times when he really, really should.

But it’s also a degree of Nathan missing things. Because in Ezra’s head he genuinely is not selling them. He is not setting them up to be victims. In Ezra’s head he’s setting them up to make their husbands victims. He’s teaching them a con. And, extremely specifically, as we find out later when we meet her, he’s teaching them Maude’s con. He’s teaching them how to act the part of a southern lady and disguise their socially inferior background long enough to string some rich man along and take him for all he’s got.

He’s trying to teach them how to act like his mother, in short. And he’s trying to teach them a lot of what Maude taught him. Failing to realise, maybe, that many of these women are not Maude Standish and may not be able to do what she does serially. Failing to realise that for a lot of women, marriage is exactly as close to slavery as Nathan makes it sound. Failing to realise that he might, in fact, be setting them up as badly as Nathan thinks he is.

I think to a large extent it just didn’t occur to Ezra … I don’t think he’s ever, a day in his life, thought of his mother as a potential victim. In his head, Maude is always the predator. Sure, cons go badly, and marks turn violent, and he probably knows full well that Maude’s probably gotten out of things by the skin of her teeth before, but in his head … that’s just their line of work? If you can’t scam them properly, then you deserve what you get. Nobody’s going to help you, so you better be able to get in and get out by yourself, and with whatever you came for clutched in your fist. I would lay odds that Maude taught him exactly this way himself. Taught him how to playact like his ‘betters’ in order to get close enough to swindle them.

Which probably has some impact on other aspects of his interactions with Nathan. Because the part Maude taught Ezra to play is the part of the Southern Gentleman. And Ezra absorbed a lot of that, with all the incidental horrors it entailed. You act the part, regardless of your true goals or opinions. You act like the people you want to fit in with.

And some of them might even have been Ezra’s own opinions. Their first meeting, when Ezra refuses to ride with the Seven because Nathan’s already there. That could have been genuine racism on Ezra’s part. Casual, not entrenched, because he’s a pragmatic man and he gets over it fairly quick once they start working together and he realises Nathan has his back no matter how much of a dickhead he is. But still. It could easily have been something he absorbed over years of playing this part, and until Nathan challenged it might have been a genuine part of his outlook.

(It could also have been a degree of pragmatism, in that he figured that Nathan as a black man and likely an ex-slave would be the sort to take personal offense to him should dynamics in the group go south, making him potentially a threat with a grudge when Ezra inevitably had to part ways from the goody-two-shoes. So, less conscious racism and more racially-profiled survivalism, but still)

(Or it could have been an excuse, a reason not to ride out suicidally with these morons for bugger-all money, and using racism and his old role as an excuse to get out of it – bit of a risky gambit though, considering he was already neck-deep in trouble as it stood)

The thing we see a lot in their interactions is that Nathan, while he warms up to Ezra slowly and cautiously and recognises him for a genuinely brave and semi-decent man, constantly struggles with two separate images Ezra presents to the world, both of which are triggering for Nathan, and neither of which is actually who Ezra is and wants to be.

The first is the role he learned for cons, the stereotypical Southern Gentleman, which grates on Nathan for obvious reasons and which tends to … the couple of times he’s genuinely flown off the handle at Ezra (here and in S2’s “Chinatown”), it’s been in circumstances where this image is combined with circumstances in which people are (potentially) being sold. Ezra just straight-up triggers everything about Nathan’s past in those circumstances, and he just struggles to see the present not the past. Entirely understandably, for all it hurts Ezra, and for all it isn’t all that true to who Ezra is, a love of erudition and fine furnishings aside.

But the other image Ezra presents, the one that is actually more true to him, at least in terms of upbringing and the frame of reference Ezra himself was raised with, is that of the conman and thief. And that is just as bad to Nathan. Just another means for a white man to take away from honest people, making his living off the backs of other people and not caring about what happens to them in the process. And he … isn’t entirely wrong. On this one, he has a lot of good points. Ezra was raised with a baseline predatory mindset, and he doesn’t always realise it. A lot of things he grew up thinking are perfectly fine and normal … aren’t. Here, Nathan often has, if not the moral high ground, at the very least some pretty good points.

But the thing is … the reason Ezra struggles so much with Maude is that Ezra is also bad at this mindset. It’s the thing he was raised to view as correct, the thing he was raised to aspire to, and he’s just bad at it. As he proved in the pilot when his conscience drove him back. He has some things that he genuinely doesn’t realise are bad, but also others that he knows full well and has to force himself to go through with. And the reason Maude is so against Ezra settling down with these people is that she knows it’s pushing him to make what she views as stupid choices, stupid risks. Things she genuinely thinks will cause him to come to harm (not without reason, although her methods of ‘helping him’ are arguably so much worse). Nathan is causing Ezra to be more honest and honourable, though Nathan doesn’t exactly realise that himself. Mostly because Nathan doesn’t realise what starting position Ezra is coming from in this regard, and admittedly doesn’t have a lot of sympathy for Ezra’s struggle in not being who he was raised to be. Nathan has no frame of reference for Maude, not until he falls afoul of her himself, and that’s not until much later, and she snows him completely for quite a large portion of it.

And on the other end, Ezra just … flat has no frame of reference for Nathan. He has never in his life been made to look at things the way Nathan looks at things. He’s constantly surprised and hurt and offended by how Nathan views his actions. Ezra, for all his bad luck and tendency to wind up in over his head, has never been brutalised the way Nathan has been, and has never realised just how vulnerable other people can be to brutalisation. It doesn’t occur to him that he might be lining up these women to be trapped, or if it does it isn’t something he thinks long on, because he looks at them like he looks at Maude, and Maude is never trapped. If you think you have control of her, it’s because you fell for the scam. But not every woman is Maude.

(And, quite possibly, Maude wasn’t always Maude. She had to start somewhere. Does she worry so much about him becoming an ‘honest’ victim because she’s looking at it from a predator’s point of view, or from ex-prey?)

Ezra looks at people like opponents. It’s the way he was raised. Everyone is out for themselves, and if you can’t take what you need, you’re going to get taken. He doesn’t want to look at them that way. He’s a closet romantic and wants to believe in honour the way the Seven sell it, but there’s always a part of him that cannot fully trust that (also a part of him that prefers the simplicity and comfort of want-take). Everyone you meet could be scamming you. Nobody is ever as innocent or helpless as they appear. The world is full of predators pretending to be prey the better to get close to people. It blinds him to how many ‘prey’ there actually are, and maybe gives him a bit of an opinion that even they partially deserve it? If you can’t get yourself out, maybe you don’t deserve to.

And for Nathan, if you have power and you don’t use it to help people, you’re using it to hurt people. Because that’s what he was raised witnessing. If you have the appearance of power, you have actual power. If you act like a good person, you are one. Actions speak louder than words, the proof is in the pudding. What you do is what matters, not why you do it. Lying, stealing, swindling, is baffling to him, and taking what honest people earn flies too close to what he spent his life enduring, blood, sweat and lives spent entirely for someone else. I think he honestly doesn’t understand why Ezra, who he knows can be an incredibly brave and decent man, doesn’t just commit to that all the time. And sometimes the things Ezra does, often in all innocence or at least a complete lack of understanding, just push him too far.

But they work at it. They get closer to each other. Ezra gradually becomes a more honest and trusting man. Nathan, aside from those times when he’s triggered too strongly to be rational, tries to be a bit gentler with him about it. They develop a respect and friendship for each other. They learn from each other. They make some incredible mistakes when it comes to each other, but they both realise that they’re not actually trying to hurt each other. Or anyone else, mostly, though their definitions of ‘hurt’ tend to vary a bit there. They’re just … easily the most fascinating relationship on the show, if often also one of the most painful.

Anywho. Thus endeth a random trip down memory-lane to an old fandom.

[ofsweetness]

ricky bowen thoughts- bc he’s my son even if mostly s1 and s2 and my au future type stuff

a) no ricky liking gina plot. he doesn’t have feelings for her. i refuse to follow this. sorry not sorry. i don’t vibe with it nor the way it was executed. he could’ve had a really meaningful story this season following where he was left off in season 2, then he didn’t. my ricky’s plot in season 3 is either one where he stays home- goes on the trip with lily, etc. she helps him work through his family stuff. or if he goes to camp, his plot would also be largely focused on his working through his family drama- his dad and miss jenn, that sort of thing. it also relates into his breakup with nini that he was trying to avoid dealing with processing. he let her go so she could fly away and chase her dreams unattached- he wasn’t ready but she needed him to be. lily also can go to camp for this all, i have a lily on my sideblog @sheactress that plays into this stuff. they break up during camp. he already knew about the harness. it was just a matter of this isn’t right... but- their relationship helps both characters grow and evolve and handle the bigger stuff in their life while being a welcome distraction too. 

b) “nini’s here?” and his big wide eyes when he says it- that’s... that’s my canon ricky we know and love. her getting him the lottery ticket marks her as giving him his ticket to adulthood- which he says to big red he’s not sure he’s ready to take on just yet. nini is going into the future there at the end of the season- so when he’s ready to do so, he can meet her again too. when he’s ready. he has to deal with everything he feels about his home life and find his purpose before he can truly grow up... but he has to leave home and embrace the unknown to complete his story from season 1, and in my mind the best way for him to do that with my sense of him is to send him to la. more in the next part.

c) if we’re wanting to follow season 3′s premise, we can- just not his arc bc i think they could’ve done more with him... the frozen doc and his role as kristoff gets him noticed and is for all intents and purposes his ‘big break’. he perhaps goes to east high one last semester before moving to southern california. in this case he goes to la halfway through the school year to do a musical at the hollywood bowl. idk which musical- we can maybe think a bit more about this. maybe it’s a new project- maybe mamma mia- he’d play sky.

d) my main verse for ricky is probably going to be that post- season 3 / post east high ricky... living in la, after finishing up at the hollywood bowl. working on music because that’s his lifelong passion, his biggest most consistent interest and gift in the show... maybe he continues doing some acting too since he’s discovered he really does have an interest in it. part of him wants to go out to new york and try broadway and maybe in a few years he does once he’s built up his resume a little more. 

but his biggest passion is music- writing songs, playing them, etc. he achieves a pretty solid degree of success in his own right as a performer music-wise, but what he really gets into is writing and producing, which he finds he’s actually quite good at. he does this for a lot of other artists, which is what brings him an amazing level of success. he gets into a lot of deals on charm at first, but he really does prove himself skills-wise. he can put his money where his mouth is, and that’s why he has a lasting presence. he will put out his own stuff occasionally, but that’s passion, not business for him. ‘a song can mean everything’ is his big thing. 

he doesn’t track down nini right away when he comes to southern california. he doesn’t think that’s fair to her. he does always congratulate her on her achievements, but he’s sort of determined at this point that even if he loves her, and he’ll probably always love her, he needs to let her live her life. and for his part- he needs to live his. if the universe deems to bring them back together, he knows it’ll be hopefully the last time he has to prove himself to her. he’s far more capable of giving her what she’d need from a relationship, and of receiving what he needs from a partner too. whether that’s with her, or someone else. part of that is thanks to his experience with lily, part of it from what came after it. also just- life. living for himself... has taught him how to be stronger. genuinely handling his home stuff allows him to have his relationships more stable as well. 

[mikanrulz]

*sighs longingly* Y'all remember when Azazel was a right asshole that deserved approximately half of the shit he had to deal with? I miss Azazel and his assholery but holy damn this is some serious character development from Genesis when he has gleefully fucking up people's lives

Hello there :D

Sorry this took me too long to answer. On one hand, I really want to rally behind azazel protection squad, but on the other hand… as you said, he was an asshole who deserved half the things he has to deal with. Then there’s also the part of me that likes to see my fav characters suffer and pushed to the limit bcs that’s usually where they shine, where they show their true colors, where they show what they’re really capable of. SORRY.

This is really a dilemma bcs while I really want Azazel to win (and see if he gonna go back to his old smug attitude), I kinda want to see him lose more bcs if he keeps losing like that, Lucifer would have no choice but to come save him again right? :D or maybe Mugaro would go berserk for Azazel’s sake, I’m not picky :p

Speaking of character development tho.

behold that mean and smug af smirk.

I see ppl commenting how he fastly improved from S1 bcs now he’s kinda a dark hero for the demon side, and how he’s more, er, empathetic toward others now?

I actually disagree on this.

I don’t think he changes that much. If anything changed, it’s that now he’s *visibly* way more *angrier* than he was in S1.

1. His default expression in S1 is being smug. Anything unexpected happened, he made a little frown-y face for a second only to cover it up in a smug smirk the next scene (most notably: ep5, 6, and 10)

My point is, in S1, he liked to act like he was in control even when he wasn’t. In S2, he doesn’t even pretend anymore and freely makes angry face all the time no matter who might see.

2. the sad face. S2 is not the first time he shows a blank face or something that could be read as a melancholy face. In S1e05 he already showed something close to it, when Cerberus reminded him of his failure, and when the butler told him of intruders coming in.

3. About the dark hero thing. I don’t think he fights to *save* the lives of the demons; I think he fights solely to restore his own pride, and incidentally, the demons’ pride. When he says this in ep4, more than anyone realizes, he’s actually being totally true - esp to himself.

He was always big on pride thing.

In S1, it might be bcs he was a former angel or whatever, but he seemed to look down on other demons, much like the way in this season Sofiel looks down on demons and Bacchus and even more on Hamsa. In s2e01, while he freed the captured demons, he killed the summoned demons abiding the trader’s command. This means he actually still doesn’t care as much about demons’ lives in general, he just can’t let lowly humans who dared took down Cocytus also took demons as ‘unwilling’ slaves.

Still in ep4, Dante says this: “you turned down our invitation and became a slave to the humans.”

I want to say the cause is yet again his pride, that he still thinks himself too good for these lowly demons, but I think he’s just being pragmatic. No other high ranking demons are with these underground demons, there’s no meaning in him joining if he would be the only one pulling their weights bcs they’re bound to lose anyway. It’s better to move alone as the Rag Demon, bcs while he couldn’t completely bring down Charioce, he could at least be an embarrassment to Charioce’s troops as that one demon they just can’t capture and keep freeing the captured demons.

When he fought Beelzebub in ep11-12, he kept using the the word ‘debt’ instead of saying ‘betrayal.’ While Beelzebub’s betrayal indeed smarted, he seemed more pissed off that Beelz managed to pull one over *him* at all (thus debt) than the actual betrayal deed; that he’d been insecure enough to take Martinet’s words to heart and unknowingly becoming his pawn in the process.

He was Lucifer’s right hand man; even Bacchus remarked on this. So why did he even believe Martinet’s words, a demon who was so clearly below him in rank, over his own trust in Lucifer? It’s precisely bcs he took pride in being Lucifer’s right hand man that he couldn’t forgive himself for his failure; he had to restore his pride back by trying to recapture Amira. He chose to eat Martinet’s provocation instead of swallowing back his pride and insisting on meeting Lucifer.

Once again, Azazel was Lucifer’s right hand man. He, more than any demon, had the right to meet with Lucifer, and that Lucifer should be the only one able to punish him if he chose to - not Martinet. But Azazel’s insecurities over his own continuous failures seemed to make him forget that fact.

It’s kinda similar to how he’s literally unable to ask Nina ‘please help me’ bcs his pride gets in the way. He chooses to *order* her instead, which understandably alarms her. Till the end, when he offers to control her dragon transformation, he phrases it as a command, not request for help. Even tho it’s obvious he’s the one who has everything to lose while Nina has nothing at stake at all even if she refuses him.

Just, I know this is rather impossible and downright uncharacteristic even, but should he, you know, lets go of his pride and actually asks for help, it would do wonders probably. Bacchus might just be shocked enough to actually help.

4. He’s nice to kids (mugaro) and women (nina) now (?). I’m hesitant to call this a development since we never actually saw him interact with kids in S1. Rita didn’t count since Azazel knew she was not a child and he never treated or referred to her as such. For all we know, he actually always…neutral….to children and we just never get to see it before. Um.

Cerberus was a girl but then again she was a demon girl who left at the first sign of trouble. It was probably not even their first assignment together since he had ‘as expected’ air as he watched her leave during Orleans’ Knights’ ambush in ep5, meaning he was pretty used to her and her whimsical way and had no respect left for her or something. plus, that whole looking down on other demons thing.

Nina’s a girl and he does save her twice, both seemingly out of reflex - which is indeed not very demon-ish of him. But in Nina’s case, I don’t think it even registered to him until ep4 that’s Nina’s a girl who is very much a… girl. I mean, while he’s aware Nina’s obviously a girl, her gender doesn’t seem to matter to him the way it does to her.

idk, I’m still not sure on this part. May come back to this later.

Conclusion: I think Azazel’s still very much the Azazel of S1, he’s just more… intense. He used to be the perpetrator; now he’s part of the victims. It’s his change in role that’s causing us to see layers that we tend not to notice when he plays villain.

Rather than Azazel himself, I think Bacchus, Kaisar and Rita’s attitude change is more curious. Like, what exactly Azazel did that made him so endeared (to various degree) to them until they care and wouldn’t want to see him killed?

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 2: Thoughts on 4x01 Echoes

Mmmmkay, literally JUST finished watching 4x01. I’m very proud of myself because I completely avoided ALL spoilers and I’m not going to unblock tumblr until I finish this reaction post so I can write down my totally spontaneous and unadulterated thoughts.

My general reaction: I actually kind of liked it. I wouldn’t say I liked it as much as Seasons 1 and 2 and I wouldn’t say I’m optimistic about the season and frankly I still have a lot of complaints, most of which are so general I don’t think they’ll ever be resolved BUT I would undoubtedly say that 4x01 was better than 3x01 and I’m actually looking forward to 4x02; it looks like just the kind of plot I like: tense, self-contained, lots of delinquents.

(loooong reaction under the read more)

So some things I didn’t like first so I can get my negativity out of the way:

I never fully believed that either Jarod Joseph or Chelsey Reist were going to be regulars because I thought that people were reading a lot into kind of vague tweets but I wanted to believe it, especially with Jarod Joseph and honestly even though I don’t like Harper…they both deserve main status by now. I mean they’ve lasted this fucking long. I cannot believe Zack McGowan gets main status and Jarod and Chelsey don’t.

I don’t give a fuck about the Grounders. I don’t! I don’t care!! And I will never care. So all this Polis shit, Grounder politics, Echo yammering on, blah blah blah. I can’t follow it and I don’t even want to follow it. In my incredibly subjective opinion, it really weighs the show down.

Roan constantly sounds like he’s having a * Tina Fey voice * talking like this contest. I have no idea what his real voice sounds like but if this is at all a put on accent he needs to tone it down for realsies I cannot take him seriously.

Monty/Harper. Get it away get it away. (I’m not going to go into why I hate them but rest assured every reaction I write this entire season will have some variation of this point, if the episode in question features them as a couple at all. Having a canon NoTP is such a fannish burden so I’m going to whine about it at top volume all the time.)

NO MILLER. A TRAVESTY.

This isn’t entirely the show’s fault but I roll my eyes every time I hear L*xa’s name, like some kind of Pavlovian dog, so obviously I did a lot of eye rolling and now my eyes kind of hurt. In particular, Clarke’s overwrought sadness about her was just so… I’m done, I’m tired of it, I don’t care. I know I’m not being fair, because in the timeline of the show obviously L’s death is very close. But, first off, I don’t think Clarke loved her at all—I think she thinks she did but she did not, and I don’t think that line would even have been included if it weren’t for RL events. Second, and relatedly, I think that little scene with Abby and the Dramatic Single Tear TM when she hands over the chip were so clearly about appeasing fans and doing penance for daring to kill a lesbian that they took me out of the show. I wasn’t watching Clarke in Polis, I was watching Eliza Taylor acting on a set. I hope that’s the end of that, and we never have to deal with that shit again.

I didn’t like Kane’s line to Bellamy about eventually deserving to survive. I know why it’s in there, both in an in-universe and in a line-to-the-fans way, but frankly my initial thought is: all human beings deserve survival. It’s not like only good people should be allowed to live a radiation free life lol. And second, can we just leave him the fuck alone already? I’m done with the Bellamy dogpile. Let’s hope that shit’s done too.

Speaking of lines I didn’t like, Bellamy calling Clarke Princess is basically the definition of Do Not Want. It’s the sort of thing that, small as it is, makes me think that the writers don’t know their own creation and it makes me lose faith in them again. That name was an insult—it was always a fucking insult, it’s not cute, it’s not a pet name, and it has no place in the Bellarke relationship anymore. Such an unnecessary false note. (I probably seem/am disproportionately mad about it…but I hate it.)

I could have done without that last scene. It just looked so….fake. Again it just took me out of the show completely. Was it supposed to show us how dire everything is? I got that message the last 20 times lol.

The stuff I did like:

BELLAMY. There wasn’t enough of him, but he was A FUCKING STAR in the scenes he did get, especially the negotiation scene. Like I could list every line I liked and every moment I liked and that would probably be more proportional to the degree I liked them but it’s probably faster and more efficient to say that I loved it all. I loved that he and Clarke acted like (mostly) equal co-leaders. I liked that they looked to each other all the time, and had all of these silent eye-communication moments. I liked the scene with him and Kane and Indra before the meeting with Echo, I loved that Echo views him as the only Sky Person she’ll talk to, and I loved…basically all of it but I guess what I’m trying to say is I loved both how he handled the negotiation and that HE was the one doing it.

Indra was killing it in this ep too. I loved the hug with Kane of course. I loved her and Murphy in the pre-negotiation scene (“I never agreed to [guns].” / “That’s because you’re not stupid.”) (She and Murphy need their own show like I would watch it.) I like how she’s basically chilling with the Sky People now—like the little scene in the temple had such a cool collection of characters, I was digging it. (Except for Octavia…who I really don’t know what to make of this season yet so.)

Speaking of Murphy…. Okay, I wasn’t impressed by Murphy/Emori in Season 3 but I did like their scenes in this episode. Unfortunately, I was really looking forward to them joining up with the Sky People in Arkadia; I want to see another Grounder trying to find a place in Arkadia (since Lincoln was brutally murdered and all) and I want to see Murphy re-integrate himself because tbh he really is at his best when he has people to play off of. People who aren’t Emori. So I was a little bummed when they ran off into the night together because I really don’t care to watch the two of them in a vacuum and also…we already saw that? But anyway I did like their scenes in this ep so they’re in the positive column. I also like that we finally got an explanation as to why Emori took the chip.

I’ve had sort of mixed feelings about Jaha because I’m not sure whether or not I can follow his story line/character progression or not but I will say: I am 100% Team Jaha as of right now. I do think that, whatever he was on the Ark or in S1, his late S1/early S2 transformation was genuine, and he really is trying to be a good person who helps people. I hope he finds the salvation and the purpose he’s been looking for. And his role in the little ploy with Octavia and the shroud was great.

That whole sequence was probably the strongest in the episode. I think one of The 100’s greatest weaknesses at this point is the complexity of its various allegiances and all the old bad blood that’s been spilled everywhere. I haven’t seen S3 since it aired and so even as a pretty big fan I still find some stuff hard to follow—it’s hard to remember who betrayed who when and all this shit and even though some Obvious Exposition is peppered in to help us along, it’s not enough for me sometimes. But this spider web of interconnected relationships, both good and bad, is also an asset of the show and I thought that middle sequence, from the “we surrender” line to Roan waking up, really played all of that up in a good way. It brought a lot of characters and a lot of history together in a way that generally worked very well. I liked the shroud ploy (though omg the Azgeda warriors are dumb AF—how could Octavia just get up and walk around and no one noticed her? Like they’re all looking outward and no one’s looking at the big ol’ empty middle of the room? And then she, a child who lived sixteen very unhealthy years under the floor and has been on Earth probably less than a year with only a handful of months of warrior training if that is able to take out a whole room of the most fearsome warriors in the post-apocalypse? It defies belief I’m sorry). I liked the Griffins operating together. I loved the tension. (Lessened somewhat by knowing Roan would live, what with him being a main and all.) Loved the whole goshdarn thing.

Most of the Arkadia stuff was pretty eh but only in that there wasn’t much of it, and what there was, we’d seen before in promotional clips and stuff (though I will say: they did better with the promotional stuff this year; I think last year they gave away some of their surprises in a way that made the scenes ring very false on a first viewing imo). But obviously I loved my boy Jasper. I would have found his almost-suicide very hard to watch if I hadn’t known it was coming but as it was, I could be more detached about it. I wish we’d seen more of his room but what we did see was interesting (I have an obsession with the Ark/Arkadia sets okay): his art—not just Maya’s favorite painting but another one near the door; his goggles with the plastic over the eyes knocked out—like him, just a shell of their former selves; all his random tools on his desk like why does he have those?; his notebooks. And, oh, that he left a suicide note to Monty. And even just their small interaction at the door was great.

Also… while in a way I find it an odd beat for him to go from his last scene with Monty in 3x16 to almost killing himself in 4x01, mere hours later in the canon timeline… I believe it, and I’m glad that my previous fears, that the show would just forget what he’d gone through and do a Jasper re-set in the new season, can be put to rest. I liked and believed in his transition from really-ready-to-die, to well-the-world’s-gonna-kill-me-and-make-it-easy-might-as-well-enjoy-Earth.

But the best Arkadia scene was the one between Jasper and Raven. First of all because I FUCKING CALLED IT that Raven shouldn’t have the sort of coding/computer abilities that she has. I hypothesized that she might have improved her skills at some point during the S2-S3 hiatus because her disability lessened her ability to do legwork, but I also mentioned that it could have been ALIE which still means I WAS RIGHT BOOM. (I just like being right a lot okay.) Also the “upgrade” talk reminded me of Dollhouse. Which was exciting but also made me all bitter and mad because Dollhouse did the idea of artificial upgrades to your brain so much better. Made me feel inspired for my Dollhouse AU though so there’s that.

I don’t ship Jasper/Raven but I do friend-ship them and I hope they bond over having been ALIE-d.

Also speaking of being AlIE-d, I don’t think Harper forgives Jasper for what his chipped self did. And she probably shouldn’t honestly because my theory is still that ALIE pulled from the real feelings and thoughts of chipped people and maybe someday I’ll write a full explanation of why I think that—which isn’t to say that Jasper wants to hurt Harper but just to say that ‘pleading the chip’ isn’t as straightforward as all that. Still, even though it makes sense narratively, because I will pick Jasper over pretty much everyone this is sorta another reason to unfairly dislike Harper. If there is anything even remotely like a Monty having to choose scenario I will be very perturbed though.  (This isn’t something I especially liked or disliked, the thought just occurred to me while I was talking about Arkadia stuff.)

It’s pretty early to say anything about her at all but Unnamed Possible Priestess (Kenza??) is looking so promising. First, we know from the trailer she’s gorgeous and I’m always here for that. Second and to be less shallow for a second, Indra seems to know her, maybe, so that could be cool. And third, while I have yet to be impressed by Grounder religion, I am very curious to see if she’s going to be bringing in a different aspect to their spirituality. I don’t know her but I already want to see her go head to head with Roan.

I had a bit of a discussion/ramble with my mom yesterday when she was telling me a bit about the episode in a vague spoiler-free way and I was trying to explain when I like Clarke (when she’s a co-leader with a reasonably sized head, when she’s cunning and imaginative like in early S2) (early S2 Clarke is my favorite Clarke fyi) and when I don’t like her (when she’s arrogant, when she thinks she can do everything herself, when she doesn’t listen to others—basically season 2B Clarke and Clarke in parts of S3), and she said I thought I would like her in this ep. I was on the fence. I liked her with Bellamy. And she had moments that objectively I probably should have liked but I’ve just been so tired of her shit for so long it’s hard for me not to feel Tired Of Her in general. But… I guess I’ll say I think Clarke looks promising.

I kind of loved how at the end of the episode when Kabby were saying goodbye to their children and story-line heirs Bellarke, Abby says “Okay let’s do this” or some such, and then the first thing she does is hug Clarke. I know she means “okay, let’s accomplish the plan, which means separating, so I gotta say goodbye to my daughter first” but it looked a little like the “this” was hugging. Which is sort of sweet.

…Um wow I’ve written a lot and I can’t think of anything so I guess I’m done FOR NOW.

Looking forward to lots of delinquents, some hopefully cool tense scenes, more Miller and Bryan, and Clarke in a better outfit next time.